I grew up in a small town where no one ever locked their doors. No matter that when we came home, all our stuff was gone–we still never locked our doors. Thus I am not surprised that in the recent presidential election, citizens of my hometown voted for Donald J. Trump.
In other words, rural Americans are easily hoodwinked. That’s why snake oil salesmen have traditionally targeted them. Same goes for shyster political candidates. I remember the night my parents returned from a stirring lecture by an aspiring politician by the name of Douglas Stringfellow. Stringfellow, a Republican who went on to be elected to the U.S. House of Representatives, regaled his audiences with a riveting account of his exploits during World War Two, including the time he embarked on a top secret mission to rescue an atomic physicist, Otto Hahn, from behind enemy lines. Captured by the Germans, Stringfellow had been subjected to torture in Belsen Prison, which left him a paraplegic. Nonetheless, he somehow managed to escape his captors.
Turns out none of Stringfellow’s back story was true, but what the heck? Paraphrasing J.D. Vance, a lie isn’t a bad thing if it helps you win an election.
Another thing: In small town America, ignorance is nothing to be ashamed of. Many’s the time in church I was told that God must have loved the common man because “He made so many of them.” In order to fit in, I took care never to portray myself as a smarty-pants, and to faithfully look up to authority figures for spiritual guidance. Take, for example, Paul H. Dunn, a member of the First Quorum of the Seventies in the church formerly known as Mormonism. Like Stringfellow, Elder Dunn was a dynamic public speaker who bedazzled the flock with accounts of his time as a professional baseball player and a combat infantryman who once found himself sharing a foxhole with a startled Japanese soldier. Instead of reaching for his pistol, Dunn whipped out his Book of Mormon and converted the guy.
Such fables were intended to solidify testimonies, but in my case had the opposite effect. Reliance on “alternative facts” isn’t helpful if you wish to navigate the real world. And by the way, “reality” shows aren’t real. They’re all scripted, same as professional wrestling and The Jerry Springer Show. Donald Trump was never a successful businessman; he only cosplayed one on television. Moreover, he does not have a “great brain.” Don’t ever listen to anyone who tells you he has a great brain. Listening to such nonsense will only cause yours to shrink.