Education
September 6th, 2022

The big problem with high school is that it coincides with puberty, a time in a young person’s life when knowing the date of the Battle of Hastings matters not.  Nonetheless, I remember that it was 1066.  I’m still waiting for an opportunity to put this morsel of information to use.

In college, I learned that when it comes to attracting females, football players fare much better than English majors.  So, reluctantly, I retreated into my study.

In graduate school I learned nothing, because my application to the University of Utah was turned down.  “We have high standards,” explained Dean Kenneth Eble, who wished me well in my then “occupation” as a day laborer.  My suggestion that applicants most in need of education be moved to the front of the line fell on deaf ears.

I don’t mind getting my hands dirty, but lets face it:  manual labor tends to wear a body down, and in spite of what Doctor Eble thought of my prospects, I still believed I could move up, but how?  Job interviews are problematical; for example, I’d be asked to explain why I had left my former job as a used tire recapper.  A better question would be:  WHY would I stay?

Another question:  Why had I moved from the small town where I grew up?  Well, because I got a driver’s license!  And, again, WHY would I have stayed?

Had I stayed in the town where I grew up, I’d never have progressed beyond the person I was in high school. Whenever I’d go for a drive, former classmates would honk and wave and holler, “How’s it going, Manydiseases?”

“Manydiseases” is how the bullies mispronounced my last name, which in Scotland is mispronounced “Mingus.”  I suppose if I had come of age in Glasgow, I suppose my schoolyard nickname would have been something like “Dirty Dingus Mingus.”

In other words, formal education sucks.  Which is why I continue to study remotely, same as I did during the Pandemic, same as the years before the Pandemic.  Learning, I’ve found, is something you just have to do for yourself.  My advice:  Get a library card, put down that smart phone, hit the road every chance you get and pay attention to what’s going on around you at all times.  If your high school reunion is coming up, don’t be afraid to pad your bio.  Pretty much everybody does it. 

-Richard Menzies