“I heard the scientists say the other day that when a man votes for a woman, he actually transitions into a woman.” ~ Fox News Host Jesse Waters
But wait! It gets worse. Not only have I transitioned into a woman, I’m now a cat lady–credit to my best feline friend Jezebel.
Earlier, I wrote that anyone who’s ever owned a dog knows that dogs are better than people. Well, cats are also better than people, and clearly they know it. As I type this, Jezebel is perched atop a pile of magazines on my desk, lording herself over me, so to speak. One meow out of her and I’ll drop whatever I’m doing and attend to her ever-so-finicky demands. Should I fall short, she’ll turn her back and walk away, leaving me to wallow, Roy Orbison like, in a slough of despond.
My hope is that she’ll give me another chance and not move on down the street, the way she did with her previous caretaker, who adopted her from the local animal shelter. One might think that a rescued animal would automatically remain faithful to her rescuer–but not Jezebel. No, she set out to adopt a new “owner.” And here we cut to a scene of sad-eyed humans beings held in wire cages, set to a sorrowful soundtrack by Sarah McLaughlin. Something about me must have appealed to her, I’m not sure what. What I do know is that she would never have adopted J. D. Vance.
Cats have high standards, and I like to think the same of myself. And let’s be honest. Who among us would pass up an opportunity to indulge in a session of heavy petting?
