At a recent rally in Las Vegas, Donald Trump complained that he was “sweating like a dog.” But dogs don’t sweat; they pant–think Donald Trump ogling contestants at a teenage beauty pageant.
Trump frequently uses “dog” as a perjorative, which tells me he knows nothing about the species. Anyone who has ever owned a dog knows dogs are better than humans in pretty much every way. It puzzles me to think Donald Trump considers himself superior to a dog, and I’m not even talking show dogs or purebreds. I’m think of dogs of all makes and models, including mutts.
Am I to believe that no one in the MAGA community ever owned a dog? I don’t think so. I mean, even South Dakota governor Christi Noem owned a dog named Cricket, which she assassinated with a shotgun in a gravel pit. Later on, when it became evident that she was on Trump’s short list for the vice presidency–think “grovel pit”–she recounted the killing in a book and issued a threat to train her sights on Joe Biden’s German shepherd Commander. To her surprise, the voting public didn’t warm to the idea, although I’m pretty sure Donald Trump broke out in a sweat.
I once had a bird dog, a Springer spaniel named Elmer, and like Cricket, Elmer was something of a “bad” dog. That said, he was the best friend I had growing up, a constant companion on my paper route and a pheasant hunting maniac. All you had to do was lace up a pair of boots or unlock the gun cabinet and Elmer shifted into high gear–same as my border collie Tippy would spring into action whenever my young son would attempt to escape his playpen. Tippy was a herder; Elmer was a birder, and nothing you could do or say would ever change that. The one thing they both had in common was an undying loyalty to their human families. Too bad DJT never had a canine companion–then again, I wouldn’t wish that on a dog.