Now at last I understand Donald Trump’s secret power: Telekinesis! Just by thinking about something, he can make something happen. For instance, he can write a book without ever having put pen to paper. By wielding a Sharpie, he can redirect the paths of hurricanes. By waving his tiny hands over folders containing Top Secret documents, he can not only declassify said documents, but even make them disappear from the folders. By talking backwards, he communicates with cheering backwoods countrymen.
Time was, were you to ask me if I thought Donald Trump is nothing but a blathering idiot, I’d have answered that I don’t see any reason why he wouldn’t be. But clearly, I inadvertently inserted a contraction. The man’s a stable genius, through and through.
May the farce be with you!
