So far, it’s not that much different from life before the COVID virus. I’ve practiced social distancing most of my life, beginning back in middle school, and most of the jobs I’ve had don’t require co-workers, which is the way I like it. In the words of Henry David Thoreau, “I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.”
That said, I miss watching neighbors going to work and children to school. I miss not hearing the sound of human voices from the street and from the sidewalk café and bagel shop, where earlier today I went to fetch a copy of City Weekly. The doors were unlocked but the only person inside was a single clerk sheltering behind a counter. From a safe distance we exchanged hellos, and then hasty goodbyes as I ducked quickly in and then out, taking care not to touch anything. I felt like a first responder to the Fukushima disaster.
Back home, I read the Tom Tomorrow cartoon and worked the crossword puzzle. The rest of the paper I don’t look at because it’s not aimed at my demographic, but rather at young people in search of fun and exciting places to meet and mingle. Good luck with that!
My closest associate is Jezebel, a cat who some years ago decided to desert the person who adopted her in order to adopt me. Picture this: A lonely writer sits at his desk, staring at a blank computer screen, a hangdog expression on his face as Sarah McLaughlin sings a doleful dirge in the background. Along comes a cat who takes pity on him and decides to move in. By and by, the rightful owner appears, wondering what has become of the cat that she adopted from the animal shelter. “Have you been feeding her?” she asks.
“Um…” I hem and haw and hand over the cat that I’ve not only been feeding but also sleeping with. Within five minutes of the exchange, the cat comes back like a boomerang to the man now known about the neighborhood as a pussy grabber.
Oh, well. I’m not going to lie and say I feel guilty over what I did, or didn’t do. Fact is, cats pretty much do as they please, which is why Jezebel is totally ignoring instructions to shelter in place. If she wants out, she goes out; if she wants in, she comes in. Like Elsa the Lioness, she is born free.
Unlike Donald Trump, I have no idea how much longer this plague will persist, because for one thing, I never had an uncle who taught at M.I.T. For another, I would never put my faith in a person who’s never had a pet cat and who denigrates people he doesn’t like as “dogs.” And I’m pretty sure such a person needn’t ever worry about being “adopted” by either creature.